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You Can’t Always Be in Control

May 9, 2012 By 8 Comments

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I don’t want to be the kind of person who becomes consumed by the struggles in my life.  I want to maintain the proper perspective.  And I want to teach my children to do the same.  Because one thing I know about life is that it’s going to be full of problems and struggles – some big and some little.   How we deal with those problems not only says a lot about the kind of person we are, it also models for our children (for good or bad) how they can handle their problems.

During this podcast episode, I discuss my current trial and how I deal with it.  I also interview my friend Sarah, who was childless for the first 14 years of her marriage.  Sarah shares her experience and I hope that it encourages you if you are struggling with something in your life.  If you would like to contact Sarah, her email is josaaaco at yahoo dot com.

Please leave me a comment and let me know what you have struggled with and how you maintained your perspective.

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  • Bethany

    Thank you for having Sarah share her story. It was very touching and hits close to home for both my sister and I. I loved what you said about not letting negative thoughts stay on your mind for very long. Focusing on the positives is what helps me the most!

    • http://goatmilkstuff.com/ PJ Jonas

      Hi Bethany, I’m glad you enjoyed the episode and Sarah’s story. Learning to deal with our difficulties isn’t always easy, but it’s such an important skill to learn!!

      PJ

  • Jonie M.

    PJ, what an encouragement & blessing to hear the podcast today, as you & Sarah so openly shared your hearts with us. It brings fresh hope to hear how God has brought others through the valleys and storms of their lives as we travel through our own. As someone who has been married for almost 10 years and has remained childless, I was touched by Sarah’s story. I’ve heard it said that the majority of our lives are not based on what we go through, but how we respond to those experiences. I believe that. The fellow who wrote the serenity prayer sure had it right. Probably aside from the sad times and questions that surround being childless, watching both my parents face sickness and losing them and currently seeing a sibling of mine face a difficult time has been some of my biggest struggles. I’ve heard it said that when we pray, God can answer yes, no, or we must wait awhile. And I’ve found that most of the time, the answer seems to be “wait awhile”. I guess that’s to teach us that if we receive everything we want when we want it, we won’t really appreciate it, or be able to see that He is capable of bringing us through those hard times. The verses that you & Sarah shared about peace are great reminders, PJ. I do believe the best way to have peace is to turn our worries and thoughts over to God. In the midst of all we go through, it is so comforting to know that God is in control. Hi strength is made perfect in our weakness. And although it’s hard, I guess we would never be able to enjoy the mountaintop experiences without the valleys.

    PJ, I pray the Lord blesses both you & Sarah as you have blessed me today! “Happy Mother’s Day” to you both, and thank you for your reminders that we can have true peace when we turn things over to Him.

    • http://goatmilkstuff.com/ PJ Jonas

      Hi Jonie,

      I’m so glad that this episode was an encouragement to you. But mostly I’m pleased that you know the Lord and His comfort. It is a sad truth that we need the dark and difficult times to shape us and mold us into His image. As you said, if everything was easy and happy, we’d have very little need for God and for growing and maturing. I pray that He continues to bring you peace and that you can continue to grow closer to your husband and to Him.

      PJ

  • Allison

    I have recently been wrestling with God because he is challenging me to be patient and that things will be handled in his time…NOT mine. Sometimes this is so difficult because we as women (especially moms) just have this is inner push to fix things and make them all better right away. However if we are asking the Lord to help us that we must realize…it is when HE is ready. He knows all and sees all…there is a reason for his choices even though we may not see it or understand it. Thank you for sharing and reassuring why God has chosen to have me be patient and him be in TOTAL control!!

    • http://goatmilkstuff.com/ PJ Jonas

      Allison, I hear you! I am a Do-er and a Fix-er. It is so hard for me to wait and be patient. But the older (and somewhat) wiser I get, the more I keep learning this lesson. I’m glad that the podcast episode was encouraging to you!

      PJ

  • Monica

    Oh, PJ, it is so true that we can’t always be in control (despite the fact that I try to!!) I love how you are so logical that you only devote a certain amount of time fretting about things and just decide to limit the amount of time you spend emotional energy on an issue. Gosh, you make it seem so easy!

    • http://goatmilkstuff.com/ PJ Jonas

      Hi Monica. I’ve had to learn to be logical about it. LOL

      I actually learned that skill while Brett and Colter were just babies. I used to worry about the house catching on fire and not being able to get to them in time. I had to train myself to stop thinking about it and turn my thoughts to something else. It took a while, but eventually I was able to gain control of it. A Bible verse actually was key to being able to accomplish this.

      First Philippians 4:8
      Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy—meditate on these things.

      Whenever I caught myself worrying about the house catching on fire, I would say to myself, “That is not true and I need to think about something true.” And I would have something that I would think about instead.

      So while it wasn’t super easy, it wasn’t super hard either. The trick is that every time your brain returns to the problem (and it will), you need to have something else to purposely think about.

      Hope that helps!!
      PJ