My children are hard workers, but they’re still children. That means that sometimes chores don’t necessarily get done as quickly as they should. Let’s talk about laundry.
For the longest time Greyden did all the laundry in our house. Then he graduated to dishes and Hewitt inherited the laundry. But a few months ago we rearranged the bedroom situation so that instead of all the children being in two bedrooms they are now spread out in four bedrooms. As a result, I changed the laundry system. Each bedroom now has a day that they are supposed to do their laundry. And Hewitt does everything else like towels (and my laundry).
Hewitt also helps Indigo and Jade switch their laundry because they can’t reach the stacked dryer. When he finishes their laundry, he puts it in my room. I then ask the girls to put it away.
Today I saw Indigo and Jade each bring a load into their bedroom. But when I told them I was coming to see if they needed help hanging anything in the closet, I heard them saying, “Hide, she’s coming!” When I went into the room I discovered they had gotten a little side tracked when it came to actually putting their clothes away:
So how did I react?
I decided to laugh about it. I could have disciplined them for not doing their job, but I was too busy telling them to hide again while I got the camera. They know that when I bring out the camera they’re pretty safe.
So I took my photos and then told them that I’d be back to check in 15 minutes, and if it wasn’t all put away they’d be getting disciplined then.
Fifteen minutes later I returned to discover that it had worked.
I have found that disciplining my children is an art form. Teaching them to work hard and to respect adults is very important. But I don’t want to raise little robots. Yes, I want to raise obedient, hard-working children. But I also want to raise children who are creative and loving and even silly from time to time. I don’t want to constantly be harping on them to be perfect. I want to have fun with them too.
So sometimes when they don’t obey, instead of resorting to immediate discipline, I laugh and I give them a second chance. At our house, laughing at their disobedience is the exception to the rule and it is very effective. There was also this incident where we laughed and yet we still disciplined. You have to judge each situation individually. But for me, I can be a good parent, and still occasionally laugh at my children’s disobedience.
What about you? Do you ever laugh at your kids when they disobey? Or do you always react with the discipline? I’d love to hear any stories from your own experience!
Your such a great mom!!!
Awww… thank you!! That makes me feel really good. 🙂
PJ
Yes, she is. 🙂
Brett
Great kids help! Love you, kiddo!
Mom
Awesome post. It is SO important to incorporate laughter in your home when it is appropriate, and it sounds like your children understand when to laugh along with you, and when to be serious. Great job!!
Chosing your battles is something all parents have to do. Being able to laugh at some situations rather that making a big deal out of it is a great way to minimize stress. First time reading yor blog, enjoyed it!
Laughter is wonderful in the middle of a stressful day and your children learned the value of both a loving mom and what who does expect chores to be done!
My 10 year old daughter is too funny sometimes not to laugh. Her hardest thing is you ask her to do something and she gets distracted easily. But she also suprises me sometimes, for example when i ask her to put away the dishes when she gets home from school (with her dad), and I get home and they are actually done, I love it.
That’s a great way to solve the chore problem. When my grandchild doesn’t do her chores, I have a special look that I give her and I open my arms to her; then we talk about why she didn’t do her chore (with hugs and kisses). I believe I will start using the camera, too. After all, she does love to pose! Thanks!!
Love it, puts the responsibility on the kids.
Both I guess. It really just depends on the situation. Today for example. My children’s grandma was coming to get them for a sleepover. They were both really excited but in the meantime had to take care of a few chores, one of which was putting away their clean laundry. My daughter is easily distracted so when she is excited she has to keep getting reminded to get things done. She put away everything but two pairs of pants which she much have forgotten. However I reminded her twice they were still sitting on the couch waiting to be put away. The third time I said if those pants are still there after you leave when you return tomorrow you will be disciplined for it because this is the third time I have reminded you. “Okay Mommy no worries!” came the reply. She left about ten minutes later and when I walked into the living room, there were the pants. Now knowing she was distracted by excitement I just sighed and thought about what I would do in the morning. I didn’t really want the pants to sit on the couch all day and decided I would just put them away and talk to her about it. I laughed when I realized there was just one pair of pants sitting there instead of two. She had grabbed the top pair and put it away, but was too excited and apparently didn’t notice the second pair. I just put up the leftover one and won’t say anything tomorrow. She tried to get it all done, she really did!
yes,sometimes I do laugh it off,,but other times I try to discipline as much as I can..:) Sometimes,you just have to laugh..lol
Ultimately, I wish I could be a better “serious” disciplinarian but I always value shared laughter over all else. Even if it means I’m often more of a “lax” parent. 🙂
as I have gotten older, I find that it a lot wiser to Not Sweat the Small Stuff…and to pick your battles… that and to be on the same page with your spouse..and for the 2 of you to be united and back each other up. And to always let your kids know that you love them..and always will…..and that laughing at life’s “little” incidents is well and fine. I’m 60 now…and try to encourage each of my 3 kids and 11 grandkids to live this way…and I am always reminding all of them that this isn’t a dress rehearsel…and that there are no do-overs.:)
Don’t worry about the small stuff! They (& you) only live once! Enjoy the journey!
I agree sometimes we do just need to laugh and give them a second chance. 🙂
Humor elevates everyone!
Well no one was hurt or bleeding so I agree that laughing was a good choice at the time
Of course, it all depends on the situation, but if ultimately they listen and do what they are told, a little laugh in the middle can be a lot of motivation.
It’s nice to “lighten up” and just have fun every now and then. I love it that you were so tickled with their little prank that you told them to hide again and ran and got the camera. It was fine that you laughed with them, had some fun, but then gave them a time limit of 15 minutes to get their chores done. It worked out fine. It made you seem friendlier towards them and not strict and unbending. And, they learned you, mom, could spontaneously relax the rule for a few minutes and get involved in their fun.
Good for you, PJ. Nice job!! :*))
I always laugh. I can’t help it! Kids can be so funny
hahah that is so cute!! i really like the way you discipline their kids!
I feel that it’s vital to teach children to be polite, responsible, and obedient. I also feel that it’s essential to teach them the right time and place to be silly and bend a few rules. It looks like you balanced that perfectly!
I laughed when I read this. It’s good that you have a sense of humor with the kids as well as draw the line. I hope I can be like that when I have kids. 🙂
I find it very hard not to laugh at some of the things my kids do. I think it is important to remember that they are kids, and sometimes that means being a goof ball. They have the rest of their lives to be mister serious if they want to be, so I think that by showing them it is okay to mess around every now and then, then it is okay o be who they are.
Very cute!
Fantastic how kids do the funnest things while doing their work. Your actions were great and I bet it had more impact on the kids than if you scolded them. Laughter is a great medicine and will change you outlook
I think that’s a great way to parent, life is too short it shouldn’t be spent always disciplining! Laughing is a great thing in life! Thanks for sharing PJ!
Blessings PJ! Oh that we would all parent our children in GRACE rather than always a long rigid set of rules. My father reminded me many times when it came to disciplining my children that “rules without relationship = rebellion”. I found that to be true not only with my children but also with my own relationship with the Lord.
I had many opportunities to practice this for sure! When my son was about 5, I was purposing in my heart to extend GRACE rather than punishment whenever the Holy Spirit directed me. This particular occasion, although I thought punishment was warranted…GRACE was given. I explained to my 5 yr old that his behavior should get him a spanking but I was giving him Grace this time. I used the opportunity to explain that Jesus took our punishment for us and gave us grace so we could avoid punishment. He wept…and I knew it made an impact.
Of course…several months later…we found ourselves in a similar predicament. He looked at me with those pretty blue eyes and very geniunely asked….”can I have grace this time too mommy?”. 🙂 To this day…I cannot remember my response…but I’m sure it was not the spanking he deserved that day. 🙂
Grace & Blessings!
~Julie
Sharing laughter with kids is a wonderful way to interact. Much better than a shaming rant about their misdeeds or shortcomings. However, after the laughter settles, then they still get disciplined but with love and not with anger.
Laughter is really the best medicine. Kids tune you out if all you do is yell or discipline. You can still have the upper hand in things, but they listen better if you make it more fun!
laughing at life’s more difficult moments has been something I had to learn (and still practicing) from my husband, but I have to say discipline is a ongoing pursuit for a family, it’s just the way we practice living together in balance with life.
Parenthood, laughter, and 2nd chances…..a lot like peas and carrots:)
Too funny. You sound like you have a terrific family and are doing things the “right” way! God Bless!
I agree wholeheartedly – so many children are afraid of being themselves because they are afraid of the consequences. Your family knows when its time to have fun and when ts time to work hard and i admire that so much!!!
Sometimes laughter is the perfect discipline…just be careful not to laugh too long or too hard. But odds are your child will remember that moment.
Great advice. In this chaotic, busy, grown up world – kids just need to be kids sometimes!
Dr. Phil says to pick your wars carefully, but never lose the ones you pick. At the same time reward kids for their good behavior. Good advice.
We all need that kind of reminder…chores are necessary but they are children. How many times do we need to do something around the house and get side tracked?? Imagine how it is for kids with the toys and imaginations at work!
Thank you for this blog! I am finding that God speaks to me in soooo many ways…today, it was your blog.
Blessings!
I laugh and then discipline depending on the seriousness of the situation. One time, I was taking my daughter to the circus. I came home from work and she started playing with her toys. I had to go let my next door neighbor know what time we were leaving for the circus. I had a bottle of red finger nail polish which I placed on the dining room table. I step out my front door to coordinate my schedule with my neighbor and when I returned the finger nail polish was spilled on our brand new silver grey carpet. What a quandry? Do I punish her? Do I take her to the circus? I decided I would take her to the circus but clean up the mess first. I quickly called a carpet hot line and proceeded to follow the steps to clean up the polish. Fortunately, my quick response was able to quickly clean up the mess.
We all need discipline and laughter in our lives. I see your family as having a good mix of both.
I enjoy your family blog and videos.
Reminds me of something my younger sister & I would have done!
OMG I can’t help BUT laugh at some of my dd’s antics! She has daddy wrapped around her little finger and he denies it constantly! He will get mad at her for something trivial (at least to me it is…pick your battles) so she will run to me and tell me daddy’s mad at her. I’ll tell her she needs to go tell daddy she loves him and is sorry and give him a big hug and kiss and then do what he asks her to. She almost always goes and does it with those little puppy dogs eyes and daddy can’thelp but smile and I’m sitting there laughing! But there are times when he doesn’t cave especially lately since she has started talking back in this sarcastic voice! No amount of puppy eyes will get her out of discipline for that!
I love the story. I think its really important to encourage children to have fun as well as work hard. This is the type of situation your kids will laugh about years from now when they have their own children.
I think the balance you use in your children’s lives will help them to trust and appreciate what values you are trying to instill in them. If you’re always mean and demanding and can never laugh at life,they’ll grow up thinking every single thing is serious and having no room for laughter will result in a shorter life and a possible heart attack or high blood pressure. People naturally gravitate to positive,happy people. Children who are scolded and shown a parent can never be satisfied or take things lightly will grow up telling others they’re not perfect enough and will be unable to work equally in relationships of any kind. Laughter is the best medicine in life and I agree…they have their entire grown up lives to be serious. I’ve always taught my boys that perfection doesn’t matter…as long as they’re trying. Laughing with them and at them has been my own source of what gets me thru my day….
Definitely, laugh with your children whenever possible. That is what they will remember when they grow up! Who wants to be remembered as “the grouchy mother who always yelled at us to get our chores done…”!
I need to laugh more! It is so easy to forget to laugh with the busy life we lead. Thanks for the reminder. 🙂
Laughter sometimes is the best medicine.
Good call. I know the children will look back on some of these experiences and know they were loved and appreciated. It’s great that you followed up by expecting obedience and cooperation. I think you have found a good balance.
oh such a good momma! I think maybe I’m too hard on my kids!
Laughing helps a lot! It’s the choosing when to laugh that Gershwin difficult.
I don’t actually have kids, but remember many times AS a kid, that my parents would obviously be trying not to laugh as me when I did something wrong. I got my fair share of punishments LOL but there were times when they couldn’t help themselves and they would start laughing and I knew I was home free! LOL BTW, I shared this on Twitter, G+, Pinterest, Stumbleupon, and Digg!
We try not to have very many rules in our house. So for me discipline results from a violation of a safety rule and every thing else is just a conversation with the kids.
Always try to find the humor in a situation. Your kids will remember the fun times and I believe it brings you closer. Of course there are times to be serious and times for diascipline but life is so short we need to lighten up.
I am having my first baby in October and even now I know that discipline is not one of my strong points. I’m so not looking forward to it!
Cute story. Yes, sometimes its better to laugh. Sometimes its better to turn the other way and pretend you don’t see (it was those times I knew I didn’t have the energy left to “win the battle”), giving the child a chance to do the right thing before they hear you coming! Parenting takes patience, love, disciple and humor…in nearly equal parts.
My oldest is just a month past 2yrs now and the way she is learning to communicate, even when it is telling me no to something i’ve asked her to do, is sometimes too funny to not laugh. This is one of those situations that I usually laugh, but make sure it gets done anyways by bringing her attention back to the task at hand.
I love enjoying my children (bad behaviors and all). I think you can still be a good parent and see the humor in their misbehaviors. 🙂 PJ
Thanks for this…I find it a hard balance and it depends on age too. I fear sometimes my kids are too silly already, what do do then? 🙂
You are exactly right – it is a balance. Are they silly when it is time to be serious? Do they know how to stop being silly and be serious when it matters? Trust your instinct and work with them if you think they don’t take things seriously enough. PJ
Thank you for this fresh perspective on motherhood! I have worked with children with special needs and often felt discouraged that all I was doing was turning them into robots. I just wished I could share the gospel with them. I now am a mother of a 5 month old and am excited to laugh about the small things but show him how much I need Jesus too!
It is so hard working with other people’s children because you are often limited with what you can share with them. I love raising my kids and passing on all my wisdom and all my failures and my love for Jesus!
PJ
I have to laugh at some of the things my daughter does! You wonder what is going on in that little mind to come up with some of the things they do! I also have a theory that she will learn better from some of her own mistakes. Ive chosen to not be the parent to say no to everything, and keep it for the important things.
Love that attitude! Good for you. 🙂 PJ
I agree, Crissy. Life is a balancing act and we have to remember to embrace the joy and silliness when it is appropriate. 🙂 PJ
It’s always a tricky balance. As a mother of 7, I find it difficult to discipline my children fairly and consistently, while taking into consideration their own unique personalities, strengths and struggles. Thanks for sharing your views on the topic! 🙂
I think most of motherhood is a tricking balance! And you’re right, you do have to take in the individual. What is disobedience for one is distraction for another and joy for a third. 🙂 PJ
As a student teacher, students do a lot of interesting things around me to see what I will do. I tend to laugh more often than not because they really are just being goofy. I like to laugh and make jokes so I am trying to find a balance of fun and work time in the classroom.
Jim taught for 7 years. I can remember him telling me that he started out each year “mean” and lightened up once the kids respected him. I always had a hard time not laughing when he was being “mean”. But now that we have our own children, they know when Dad puts on his “mean face” it’s time to get serious. PJ
There are times when I try to discipline my children who are 2 & 5, and I start laughing because they are being so cute even while they are being naughty. My biggest problem is that I am a single mother and I have all the discipline responsibilities to deal with myself. Sometimes it is hard for me to laugh it off because being the only parent is stressful. Other times it is extremely hard to discipline them because they are making me laugh, which then they think it is funny, and I have to walk away. I haven’t hard time finding that middle point. Just last night my 2 year old was getting in trouble (making the carbon monoxide alarm go off which he finds hilarious and does at least once a day) and had the cutest innocent look on his face and I started laughing and had to turn around and walk out of site. My mother had to urge me to go discipline him but to stop laughing first, which was difficult because she was also laughing. It is extremely hard for me to discipline my children sometimes because of their cute little faces. My oldest already tries to get out of trouble by running up and telling me “I just want to give you a hug and tell you I love you” how does that not make you smile?!
You nailed it! It is a balancing act. And as long as their behavior hasn’t crossed the line to manipulative, it’s good to laugh. I often found that with the older children (yours are probably still too young), I can come back after the fact and have a serious discussion about it without the laughing. But not always. 😉 PJ
When you have lots of kids (we have 6 kids under age 7) sometimes it’s just easier to laugh off the little things and not stress or obsess over them. That doesn’t mean I let me kids run wild or that they don’t know how to behave in public, but they are just kids and we let them be just that! <3
It’s a fine line sometimes knowing when to discipline and when to laugh. With lots of children comes lots of practice, fortunately! PJ
I have had several times where I could not help but laugh…and even took a photo of the *event*… but HAD to enforce consequences. And ye, each event merits evaluation in regard to handling the matter… with each of my twelve blessings.
(It should read (And yes) )
Absolutely! I always say it’s about balance and the individual. Blanket statements rarely work with children. (as you well know!) PJ
I found that now that my children are older (13, 15 & 17) that each morning we start our day with me giving them one positive about them. It can be as simple as “I am proud that you went to bed on time last night” or “I appreciate that you took the trash out yesterday without me having to ask” or even “I really like your smile” – we found that it makes everyone’s day better and reinforces that mom really likes them even though she has to reprimand them. It softens the times that they are disciplined.
I love that, Christy!! Totally awesome and I think that is so great that you do that. 🙂 PJ
I agree. What a balancing act. I really struggle with which battles to choose.
I’d like to say it gets easier, but I haven’t reached that point yet. LOL Actually, I take that back. It is easier to pick my battles with the older children. The issues are bigger so they become apparent which is really important faster. PJ
Such a good reminder!!
I’m glad you thought so, Lisa! 🙂
PJ