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Do You Limit Yourself?

July 2, 2012 By 92 Comments

As a very busy Mom, I know that I can’t do everything I want to do.  So I choose to limit myself.  I find that it is more important for me to do less and have time to relax and spend time with my family, than it is for me to take advantage of every opportunity that comes my way. 

PJ and the Girls

Limiting myself allows me to spend time just snuggling and reading with my children.  It also allows me to have time to deal with the every day emergencies of life, such as broken legs.

There are three main ways that I know I’m doing too much and I have to remove some things from my schedule:

  • My stress level stays elevated for more than 1 week
  • I start yelling at my children
  • I start to feel like I’m a terrible Mom
When those things happen, I know I’m doing too much and I have to change something.  Sometimes it’s an easy change.  Sometimes it’s more drastic. Sometimes it’s quick.  Sometimes it takes longer.  
 
But no matter how hard, I make the change.  Because the most important thing in my life is my family.  And that means that I’m willing to give up some good things to have the room in my life to keep myself sane and happy so I can take care of them the way I want to.
 
This subject is so important to me that several months ago I recorded this short video about it:  

My first podcast episode, The Myth of the Mom Who Can Do Everything, is also on this subject and goes into things that I don’t do a bit more in depth.  If you are unable to watch the video, you can read the transcript (but it’s much better when you watch to it).

I hope that you can look at my life and all that my family accomplishes and be encouraged.  It is possible to set your goals and determine what is important to you.  When you concentrate on those and remove the distractions, you can accomplish great things.  If you sacrifice what isn’t essential to meeting your goals and don’t feel the need to be a “supermom”, life becomes much more enjoyable.

I’d love to hear from you if you’ve struggled with this issue of doing too much.  Have you been able to give up some things?  If so, what?  Or are you still struggling with feeling overwhelmed?

 

 

 

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  • kerensa cross

    Right now I have a twelve year old and a baby due in less than two weeks. It feels like so far this summer has been non stop activities and it’s hard to stay caught up. I have learned that sometimes, you just have to stop and take a break, even if you feel like there is so much to do. I have had a pretty easy time giving up things to make more time in the day for my family, and I hope I can continue to improve upon this.
    Thank you for this article, I really enjoyed what I read.

    • goatmilkstuff

      Hi Kerensa!  Congratulations on the upcoming baby!  What an exciting time!  I always enjoyed having a newborn because it gave me such a great excuse to just stay home and be with my children.  I hope that everything goes smoothly!
      PJ

  • Jean69

    Right now I am looking after my elderly father plus helping out with grandkids. I really enjoyed reading the article.

    • goatmilkstuff

      Hi Jean, I’m glad you enjoyed the post.  It sounds like you’ve got a lot that you’re doing and I think it’s wonderful that you’re spending so much of your time helping your family!
      PJ

  • Ellen

    I am mom of 2 boys ages 14 & 12.  We limit the number of activities that they can enroll in at once and we work as a family to limit the number of evenings that we have to run and go to different activities.  Having down time as a family and as a mom/wife is important!

    • goatmilkstuff

      Good for you, Ellen!  Sounds like you’ve got this covered!
      PJ

  • Lindsay Sterling

    I love reading your blog posts because it gives me a lot to think about and ideas for how to parent in the future since this is my first child (11 months old) and sometimes I feel like I’m just winging it. :)

    • Wanda

      Believe me, LIndsay, we ALL just wing it!!!  But, when you keep winging it, gaining confidence, then pretty soon you are flying!!!  Keep it up, you’re doing fine.  <3

    • goatmilkstuff

      I agree with Wanda – we’re all just winging it.  Congratulations on your first!  I’m so glad that the blog posts are helpful!  I think it is so important for young moms to keep their priorities straight and I pray that you do that!!
      PJ

  • Jackie Perry

    With 3 kids all active in school and sports, I find myself needing to be in two places at the same time all too frequently. Just when I get my plan set, a kid throws a wrench in the mix by wanting to add or change things at the last minute. I find that limiting them, helps keep me on track. I’m constantly reminding them that they can’t do it all, they have to prioritize or mom will lose her mind!

    • goatmilkstuff

      Hi Jackie – people ask me all the time how I do it.  But honestly, my life is easy compared to what you just described.  I can’t imagine having to go in three different directions and support all those different activities.  Good for you for limiting them and teaching them that you are important too!  It is so helpful when children are taught to consider others and not just their own desires.
      PJ

  • Mternet

    I think it is important to limit activities and to be able to sit down at the dinner table as a family as many nights as possible.  This is where everyone in the family can interact to share stories of their day.

    • goatmilkstuff

      Agreed!!  I love quiet family evenings.  Although, they’re not usually very quiet around here. LOL
      PJ

  • http://reducefootprints.blogspot.com Small Footprints

    I used to struggle with trying to do everything … and it really got me down when I couldn’t.  Then I realized that the world doesn’t stop if I don’t do everything and that it’s all much more enjoyable when I limit myself.  And here’s the real revelation … opportunities are there all the time so if one pass on something, it’s sure to come around again at a later time.  We really don’t miss out on anything when we limit ourselves.  Wonderful post … thanks for reminding us of this important issue!

    • goatmilkstuff

      I LOVE that – opportunities are there all the time so if one passes on something, it’s sure to come around again at a later time.
      How true is that?!?  Excellent point – the one thing that doesn’t come around again is our children’s childhoods, so we can’t miss that for those opportunities that will come around again.
      PJ

  • Labyrd

    It’s really tough raising kids today. You try to do your best and teach them right from wrong and hope they take it and do the right thing. There is a limit to what  you can do though. You still need time for yourself.

    • goatmilkstuff

      Raising children has always been tough.  Different generations face different challenges.  But I agree with you, you need time for yourself so you can recuperate and be the best mom you can be.
      PJ

  • Lisa Baker

    I know a mom can’t do it all but my son thinks I can get him anything he wants because i work.  He is 22 and still doesn’t know that I can’t do everything but i still try

    • goatmilkstuff

      Why do you still try?  He’s 22 and (unless there are extenuating circumstances) should be working for what he wants, not expecting you to provide them.  
      Just my (opinionated) opinion :) PJ

  • Peggy

    PJ, I have met your wonderful children.  You are a great mom!

    • goatmilkstuff

      Awwww… thanks, Peggy!
      PJ

  • Andrea

    I do limit myself, but I wonder sometimes if I have too much anxiety. I mean when my heart speeds up and I get anxious about the errands I need to run or trying to coordinate for a Bible study, maybe I need to push myself a bit.  I used to work outside the home and every night I would go to bed anxious that I would miss the alarm and be late to work.  And at home,  I feel stressed just trying to keep on top of laundry and dishes (and kids) not to mention yard work, vacuuming, cleaning bathrooms, teaching my little ones things, baking, cooking.  I feel like I don’t have enough energy to go around.  I feel like I’ve done pretty good letting go of perfection (except with company coming, ah!). These things are non-negotiable (although not everything can or needs to be done daily).  I am experimenting with certain stress-reducing amino acids and am working to support my thyroid function.  I would love to have  a larger family, but sometimes I just don’t think that would be wise. My children are 3 and 1 and my husband is a wonderful daddy and puts NO pressure on me.  I am just reflecting.  I hate being so pathetic.

    • Wanda

       You’re not pathetic, Andrea…not at all.  You are a woman trying to balance your life, and figure out what to let go of and what to keep in your life that is important to you.  List your priorities on a sheet of paper.  Go back tomorrow and look at it again.  Do you need to change anything?  Can anything be crossed off the list because in retrospect, it doesn’t seem as important today as it did yesterday?  Do you need to add a priority? Make your changes then look at the list again the next day.  Keep whittling down your list until you have a list of priorities that you feel comfortable with.
      Your priority list might change 3 months from now.  It’s not meant to stay the same for the rest of your life.  Re-evaluate it every 2 or 3 months.
      Also, try keeping a daily planner, even for your daily chores.  Crossing off the work you get done gives you a feeling of accomplishment.  But, don’t forget to schedule some relaxation time for yourself every single day.  If you can’t find time for relaxation each day, then you have too many plans for that day.  Take something off.
      These are a few suggestions,…things that have worked for me.  Hope it helps you learn how to put balance in your daily life.

      • goatmilkstuff

        Thanks for replying to Andrea’s post, Wanda!  You had some very good suggestions!
        PJ

    • goatmilkstuff

      Andrea – you’re not pathetic.  You’re a mom with two young children and you are exactly who I wrote this post for.  You need to find a way to find peace and joy in your life with your little ones and your husband.  If your heart is speeding up and you’re feeling anxious, those are typical stress responses.  You need to get ruthless and cut things out until you figure out your baseline.  

      In the past I’ve said no to Bible studies because it was just too much.  It was just one more day out of the house and I couldn’t do it.  I’ve said no to AWANA b/c I just couldn’t keep up with it.  I knew I could better point my children to God if I was living in a Christ like manner than if I was stressed out and short-tempered with them because I was trying to get us to Bible Study or AWANA on time.

      When was the last time you spent the day in your pajamas with your children?  Doing nothing but playing and reading and watching movies?  Don’t answer the phone, don’t answer the door.  Just be with your children.  Ask your husband to bring home pizza that night.  Better yet, do it on his day off and order in pizza.

      When it comes to your errands, can you batch your errand day?  I used to run errands no more than once every two weeks.  I had a huge pantry and lots of frozen vegetables.  Jim could pick up milk and fruit on his way home if we needed it.  Not going out frequently makes you so much more efficient.  I also would do food shopping on my way home from church.  I know some people frown on that, but I didn’t feel that God was upset with me for that and it made a huge difference when the children were little b/c they could stay in the car with Jim and I could run in by myself.

      You can do this!  I believe in you!  You can find a way to get rid of that racing heart and anxiety.  Talk to your husband about it and see what the two of you can come up with!

      PJ

  • Patricia

    We often pressure ourselves needlessly.  We also have the right to say no and to stand up for ourselves. We ultimately answer to ourselves and no one else.

    • goatmilkstuff

      Absolutely, Patricia!  I think it is so important that women have the confidence to say no!  It’s ok.  We need to stop judging each other and stop judging ourselves by comparing ourselves to others.  So important.
      PJ

  • missannmcd

    Well, I am 54 years old now with only a 14 yr. old left at home but I learned many eons ago about the effects of taking too much on and developed the skill of saying NO. I saw so many moms around me who stretched themselves to the point of misery. Their marriages were suffering while their husband and kids fought for time with mom. I said No way am I gonna let that happen to me. Saying no is not really that difficult if you have confidence in yourself. You will be more effective with the things you do take on and will find that balance that is needed. Balance in all things equals harmony :)

    • goatmilkstuff

      You said it perfectly!  That’s what it is all about.  Sometimes it is just so difficult to see how the people we love the most are suffering for all the other things that we do.  Good for you!!
      PJ

  • katie klein

    I almost always feel like I do to much.  With a two year old, 7 months old, 2 jobs, school, hubby, dog and a rabbit I have to take time-outs.  I try to stop and have learned to just say no sometimes.  I also really value the free time I do have with my family.

    • goatmilkstuff

      Yep, I agree, you do too much. :)  When you have that much on your plate (and you can’t get rid of some of them), you have to say no to everything else.  Your children are so little, you’ll regret not enjoying just being with them more if you take on anything else.  I wouldn’t trade my life for anything, but I noticed how much more time I spent snuggling with Jade and Indigo than I did with my youngest two boys because of the change in our lives.  I wish I had spent more time with the boys, just “being” with them when they were younger.
      PJ

  • Hannah

    I am not a mom but needed the reminder about limiting myself. I have a tendency to want to say “yes” to all “good” things… Thanks for the important reminder to always evaluate if I am trying to do to much.

    • goatmilkstuff

      Hi Hannah,  I think that so often people can thing that since women are not moms they must have all the time in the world to serve others.  But the truth is that everyone has limits and we need to recognize them and honor them no matter what our situation in life.
      PJ

  • Dghs48

    After working for 35 years, and being retired for 27 years with three sons, all married with children of their own, I try to limit myself to a low level of activity.  I enjoy watching others work, however.

    • goatmilkstuff

      Good for you!  I keep wondering when I’ll be able to “retire” and go back to “just” being a wife and mom. LOL  Although Jim says this time he wants to retire with me when we pass everything on to the children. ;)

      PJ

  • lori

    I’ve learned the hard way in the past couple years what an effect doing too much has on me & my family.  My load has lightened & I’m praying it will have a positive effect on me & the rest of the people in my home.

    • goatmilkstuff

      I’m sorry that you’ve struggled with doing too much.  I often pray that God will redeem the years the locusts stole when I realized I’ve been doing something that wasn’t the best for my family.  The important things is that you’ve made the change!
      PJ

  • Janis Gibel

    Although my son is an adult now I remember well how easy it is to commit to doing too many things and not having time to relax and enjoy your family. I compromised my having to work with being there for my son by working at a residential childcare facility. Not the easiest job but it made it possible for me to be ‘home’ for him. Also, most of my vacations were timed to coincide with school breaks!

    • goatmilkstuff

      That sounds like a great compromise!  I’m glad you were able to work something out and took responsibility even though it wasn’t the easiest job.  A lot of people wouldn’t have made that sacrifice!
      PJ

  • http://twitter.com/durstslovepens Crissy Durst

    I often feel overwhelmed, and really haven’t found a way to cut down. I like to take walks in the evening to clear my head. Right now that’s the best I can do.

    • goatmilkstuff

      Hi Crissy – I’m sorry you’re still struggling.  I have felt the way that you do several times in the past.  For me, sometimes many small changes could affect a positive change.  But more often, it required a much bigger, drastic shift in the way I did things.  Over the next week, while you’re walking or whenever you get a chance, try to make a list of the things that are causing you stress.  Try to get as many things written down as possible, then try to see a pattern and address that.

      I’ll give you an example.  About 18 months into the start of Goat Milk Stuff, I was hugely stressed out and couldn’t seem to get on top of things.  I did just what I suggested to you and made a list of what caused me stress.  What I found was that over 3/4 of the things that were on my list were related to having to make a decision.  Things were growing and changing so much, that I constantly had to decide something new.  Every day, multiple things.  And it was incredibly stressful.  So Jim and I came up with a plan for dealing with all that decision making.  And it made a HUGE difference.  The decisions still had to be made, but having Jim’s awareness and support and blocking all decisions so I dealt with them at one time (instead of throughout the ENTIRE day) was a big change.

      I don’t know if that helps or not, but hopefully it will.  Let me know if there is anything else I can do!

      PJ

      • Crissy Durst

        I will definitely try that, I have been struggling with a lot of things, and like you almost all of them are about making decisions that I am not sure how to make. I just read your reply several times,and they really calmed me. I know I have to make these decisions, but instead of them consuming me, which I feel that they have, I need to take this one step at a time,. Thank you so much for your inspiring words, I need to make sure that everything from this point on is one step in the right direction.

        • goatmilkstuff

          I’m so glad that I could help, Crissy.  Let me know if there is anything else I can do!
          PJ

  • Jjelderandbuddy

    I try to keep remembering my little man is only little so long and I am not going miss any of it. If the house doesnt stay spic and span, O well. Raising my little man is a once in a lifetime opportunity! Love your soap! janet

    • goatmilkstuff

      That’s exactly it!!  Good for you!  I have a good friend you used to “scold” me all the time because I didn’t wipe down my stove every day.  She used to say it only took 2 minutes.  I would tell her very simply – “you’re right, it only takes 2 minutes.  But there are a hundred things that I could do that only take 2 minutes.  And if I do them all, that’s more than 3 hours I’ve lost with my children doing more important things like snuggling and reading books.”

      It was a very easy decision for me to make.  Anybody who wanted to judge me based on the fact that my stove had food spilled on it wasn’t worth me worrying about when I had lots of babies that needed me. :)

      PJ

  • Janld24

    My youngest child is 17 now. Enjoy all the time you have with your children while you can. They won’t always be close by. Thanks for all the thought provoking blog posts I really enjoy them!

    • goatmilkstuff

      You’re right – this remind me – Brett just said to me last night, “Mom, you must be so sad that I’m growing up.”  I said, “yes, I’m going to miss you when you’re grown and gone, but I’m so proud of the young lady you have become.”
      PJ

  • ILuvstchin

    I love all your products and an recommending them to everyone I know. You guys are the greatest

    • goatmilkstuff

      Thank you!  I appreciate the kind words and really appreciate you sharing us with your friends!
      PJ

  • k50im

    I live out of state from my mom so I never saw her but one weekend at Christmas time. She just passed on Memorial Day and I regret that I did limit our visits. Oh how I wish I would have spent one weekend a month with her now. I miss her so! Please stay close with your children and your parents…life is so short and precious!

    • goatmilkstuff

      I’m so sorry for your loss.  It is never easy and should always serve to remind us to love on those who are left more!
      PJ

      • k50im

        Thanks so much for your kind response!
        Kim

  • M45p

     My children are adults. During their growing up years, I did limit myself to be sure I was here for them and my husband. My daughter just had surgery so she came back home during her recovery. Mu husband and I made sure to be here for her. It is important to be around for your children. I didn’t have much support from my mom growing up and did not want to do the same to my children.

    • goatmilkstuff

      I’m so glad that you learned that lesson in time to teach it to your children!  I hope your daughter is recovering well!
      PJ

  • Kleikauf

    Hi PJ,
    I enjoyed your video. I USED to not be able to say no, and so I struggled with doing too much. I must say it feels liberating to be able to say no, and not feel guilty. My family is much happier when I put them as a priority. Although, I want to teach my children to have a servants heart, and not be selfish. All in all it is a balancing act.
    Thank you for your insight.
    Kathy Leikauf

    • goatmilkstuff

      I agree – it is a HUGE balancing act.  Because when we’re too far to one side, in our attempt to get back to the center, we can overcompensate and swing to the other.  For me, I have narrowed my focus on who our family tries to serve.  We really let God put it on our hearts and not react to other people trying to put it on our hearts.  With the recent tornadoes we experienced, it was very obvious who we were supposed to help.  For our family, it works best if we heavily invest in a smaller number of lives than if we try to lightly serve in a larger number of lives/events/charities.  I’m not sure if that makes sense or not.  But it’s kind of like the way we choose to give money.  We give only to a very small number of things that God has put on our heart, but we give much more heavily to them.  All other requests for donations are met with a polite, “I’m sorry, but we already have charities that we support.”
      PJ

  • Brenda L.

    Hi PJ, I don’t view it as limiting myself but rather listening to my intuition or “gut feelings.”  If I feel in heart it’s the right thing to do, then I do it.  If it’s not, then I don’t.  I always find that when I don’t listen to my gut feelings and rather go with my so-called “logical” mind, things don’t usually go very nicely. =)  However, when I go with my intuition, I ALWAYS feel good in my heart AND the outcomes are 100% positive!  This is what I work on everyday.

    • goatmilkstuff

      Hi Brenda – it sounds like your intuition is very true to yourself and that’s a great thing.  I think there are a lot of moms out there whose intuition is too easily swayed by outside pressure and feelings of guilt that does not come from self but from outside sources.  We need to encourage these moms to understand that it is ok to say no to those outside pressures and do what is truly important to them.
      PJ

  • robyn freeman

    im trying to learn how to limit myself on the things i do but it’s not to easy. sometimes i send my kids into the backyard to play while i get a few mins to relax and that usually helps but it doesnt last long. still learning.

    • goatmilkstuff

      We’re all still learning, Robyn!  I’m glad that you’re aware of it and take a few minutes for yourself when you need it.  It may not last long, but often that little breather can help so much with our patience level with the children. 
      PJ

  • Amy P.

    I enjoyed your video.  Thank you so much for the reminder!  I’m usually pretty good about limiting myself, but I do have times that get a little out of hand and this week is one of those times.  I have 4 little boys that I homeschool.  I know I struggle with wanting things to be just right.  School, house, activities, friends, all of it.  I just read a funny sign on Pinterest that said, “Cleaning house while your kids are little is like brushing your teeth while eating Oreos!” Haha, so true! 

    • goatmilkstuff

      Amy – I think it’s a good point that things are dynamic and there are more hectic times than others.  But as long as our baseline is peaceful, that’s the important thing!  And I love the saying, perfect!
      PJ

  • Carmen

    I am a 2nd grade teacher.  I have learned over the years to limit the amount of time I spend at home on things related to school.  (lessons, decor, etc.)  I have learned that grading, etc. can wait until tomorrow!  I have also learned to work more efficiently when I am at school.  Gone are the days when teachers talked in the lounge in the morning or at lunch.  We don’t even eat lunch in the teacher’s lounge anymore.  We eat as a grade level for about 20 minutes and then get right back to work.  Every minute away from the students must be used wisely.

    • Simplysusan6310

       Carmen,
      If you’re team is like ours, we spend our lunch time catching up on conferences that need to be scheduled and things like that that we didn’t get to in our team meetings that take up a lot of planning time. I have decided with the new common core coming in, I will be writing my units before school starts so that I just have to tweak them as we go along. Once school starts, I have very little time for relaxing otherwise, and I like to have time with my granddaughter as much as possible!

      • goatmilkstuff

        Susan,  I know how much work goes into being a good teacher and I applaud you for trying to maintain a balance!
        PJ

    • goatmilkstuff

      Carmen – Jim taught for 7 years and people always said to me, “oh that’s so great that he has so much time for you and the children.”  I would just laugh, nobody who is not a teacher (or married to one) has any clue how much work teachers have to do. And how careful you have to be with your time because the work is so important you can justify doing it 24/7.   Makes it very hard on teachers and their families.
      PJ

  • Simplysusan6310

    I had to say “No, thank you” to an outing this morning simply because it would have taken four hours out of my day. Sure, it was to a movie that my granddaughter might have liked, but it was during a time that would have been the best for her to have outside play time and would have run into her nap time. Instead of rushing to get ready, we’re cuddling on the couch before getting ready to go outside to play.

    • goatmilkstuff

      I love that!  That is exactly what I’ve learned.  That if I have to rush to make something happen, the rushing takes the joy out of it when I can do something simple and fun that we all enjoy instead!  Great decision!!
      PJ

  • Carol

    Learning how to say “no” is a lesson we all need to take in life. So often we say “sure” “no problem” “I can help” and then the wall hits. We get cranky, tired, irritable, start screaming and lose control. Healthy eating goes out the window along with any sense of semblance of organization that we thought we had. When my son was young, I was working long hours and an active participant of his swim team, joined the board, organized and made a profitable concession stand with another very driven parent. Then at one board meeting the discussion of the banquet and slide show came up. Of course I volunteered to take the pictures, and put a slide show together using a computer. This was the year 2000. I did not have a digital camera, a computer and computer programs did not exist that you just plugged in pictures. I just had the passion to make things happen, a good thought just to make things better. With the help of another mother we set out and made a slide show to die for, it took 6 months and many late evenings… we were exhausted.

    Oh, the kids loved the slide show, the parents loved it, we got a standing O and we felt fantastic. It took us two years after that moment to say “no more” and for me to realize, it really did not matter. The team went on without me when my son went off to high school and the kids still love the concession stand, but the parents of the team now, just have to pay a little extra to be on the team to have the things that we gave as our time and our inability to not be able to say “no”

    My son remembers the time mom was active in his swim team , his mom’s commitment to the team and  he has fond memories of how great mom was. I am happy I did it but by doing what I did what I gave up, was my life ….as one person finally asked me; “when are you going to start living your life”

    So saying no and setting boundries has been a whole new chapter for me and I have to say I do love the time it gives me to make my own memories and shall we say “smell the roses”

    Thanks for the invite
    Carol

    • goatmilkstuff

      Thank you so much for sharing that, Carol!  It’s a perfect illustration of what I was trying to communicate.  I’m so glad that you’re starting a new chapter and are making time for the roses.  Good for you!!
      PJ

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100001073603260 Christy Marie

    I learned to say no when my son was small and I was ill with a chronic condition.  I felt pressured to do more at his school, but it would stress me out and make me even more tired.  I learned to volunteer at home whether it be simple baking for a bake sale, grading papers for his teacher, and cutting and sorting box tops.

    • goatmilkstuff

      Hi Christy, I’ve had to learn to become very good at saying no to outside pressures. What I’ve discovered over the years is that it is the internal pressures to say yes to. The things that I feel I need to do because it is important to me or because God is laying it on my heart.  I’ve stopped allowing myself to feel guilty if other people have expectations for me that my husband and my family do not have.

      I hope you’re doing much better now!PJ

  • Mary T

    hi, i try most of the time to do more then even possible and then get frustrated when nothing works out.
    now i am trying hard to limit two things at the time to get a done . i really trying to look at my dd and talk to her  without looking in the computer and doing something else .

    • goatmilkstuff

      Hi Mary – it is so difficult, and so important, to give our children our full attention.  I am very guilty of that a lot of times, especially if I’m writing a blog post.  I have to mentally smack myself in the head sometimes and shut my laptop so I can do it. LOL
      PJ

  • Countrylover49

    Am older but love your lotion stick.. life is to enjoy and be happy you all seem to be happy. God Bless Tricia

    • goatmilkstuff

      Thanks, Tricia!  I’m glad you’re loving the lotion stick.  We have our struggles (like everyone else), but we know we’re doing what God wants us to be doing.  And we’re doing it together and that keeps us very happy. :)

      PJ

  • Jamie

    Thanks for the advice!

    • goatmilkstuff

      You’re welcome, Jamie!  I hope it helps!
      PJ

  • Michelle

    I am a teacher, run a dog bakery business out of our home, and have 2 sons, ages 12 and 7.  With all this going on, sometimes I forget it is OK to say “no”, whether it be to the teaching job or the bakery.  I have to force myself to think, “The papers can be graded tomorrow” or “the biscuits can be baked later”.   I am getting better, though!

    • goatmilkstuff

      Hi Michelle,
      I am so with you on that one!  I constantly have to tell myself – you can respond to those emails/comments/facebook posts tomorrow.  Right now your children and your husband need you!  It is a constant battle, and while I may lose a few skirmishes, I’m determined to win the war!
      PJ

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1378297314 Nancy Hill Bradford

    A number of years ago I had a job that I was working that required me to work 60 plus hours for weeks straight. I would get laid off for a few weeks, after doing this for a couple of years I decided that I had to get away from that and was able to find something else and never looked back. Now that I am not working I just wish we lived closer to our daughter and her family, so we could spend more time with them.

    The most important thing in life is family and it is important to say no to things that can get in the way.

    • goatmilkstuff

      Nancy – I couldn’t agree with you more!  Sometimes it is so hard to make those decisions that are the best things we can ever do for ourselves and our loved ones.  Good for you for making that choice and for not regretting it!
      PJ

  • http://twitter.com/eeeLexi Lexi

    Yes, I have struggled much during my first year in high school. I joined so many activties that I didn’t have time to spend time with my family as much as I would have liked, I ended up giving up on several things so that I could spend more time with my loved ones. It was a good choice. 

    • goatmilkstuff

      Good for you, Lexi!  What a great decision and it shows a lot of maturity!
      PJ

  • Diana

    to avoid the negative connotation of “limiting” yourself (because it sounds like you are denying yourself something you wish you had) why not think of it as making “positive choices” – you have the ability to choose what to do with your time.  If you choose to do activity x versus y – or neither :) that can be a positive choice for you (under whatever your current circumstances are).  I really try to help my daughter decide how to make good choices for herself, conscious choices (rather than going with the flow).  I ask her to stop for a moment and really think “do I want to do xyz?  do I want to eat that?  do I want to watch that?”  etc.  So, I would suggest that if you say “no” to doing some activity to view it as a positive (vice negative) choice rather than a “limit”.

    • goatmilkstuff

      Hi Diana,  thanks for that feedback.  I actually choose to use the term “limit myself” very deliberately.  I think that there is a message out there that people can do anything and everything and that you have to go after it all.  While I do believe that making positive choices is a positive spin, I think that it is an important concept to get across that we are humans and we do have limitations.  We can not have everything we want, do everything we want, and be everything we want.  I think it begins with the federal government and the incredibly high amount of debt we have as a nation.  I think imposing some limits is necessary and doesn’t have to have be perceived as a negative thing.  

      PJ

  • PriscillaW

    I admit I can’t ‘do it all.  It is hard to know which activities to say ‘no’ to.  I’m a mom to 6 (age range 14 years) some days are better than others.  It is a challenge to know/learn ‘how’ to balance all my responsibilities.

    • goatmilkstuff

      I agree – it is a challenge.  And it is constantly changing which makes it even more challenging.  But the biggest obstacle you’ve already overcome – admitting that you can’t do it all.  So many women spend the majority of their lives trying to do it all and they are miserable and burnt out.

      PJ

  • Chris

    As one other person wrote…I too prefer to put a positive spin on it and not call it “limiting.” I like to make choices that positively impact my family. There is only so much time in the day:) One recent adjustment in our schedule is volunteering one day a week with Northwest Children’s Outreach (http://northwestchildrensoutreach.org/). We had to make changes in our schedule for this to happen but the rewards are endless. It’s family time and it opens the door for a lots of discussion ranging from serving in our community to respecting our life situation.

    • goatmilkstuff

      Hi Chris,  What a great thing to do with your time!  I’m sure that you and your family are going to learn so much from doing that.  I keep saying that at some point, I’m going to clear our schedule and make time for a family missions trip.  I’ve just been waiting for Jade to get older.

      As to the positive spin, here is how I replied to the other comment: Hi Diana,  thanks for that feedback.  I actually choose to use the term “limit myself” very deliberately.  I think that there is a message out there that people can do anything and everything and that you have to go after it all.  While I do believe that making positive choices is a positive spin, I think that it is an important concept to get across that we are humans and we do have limitations.  We can not have everything we want, do everything we want, and be everything we want.  I think it begins with the federal government and the incredibly high amount of debt we have as a nation.  I think imposing some limits is necessary and doesn’t have to have be perceived as a negative thing.  PJ

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1034222578 Iayon M. Shoemaker

    I try and prioritize what really really needs to get done for that day. Yes, I agree moms, women are NOT perfect, I am NOT perfect and I have learned through the years that their are times to work and times to play with the children.

    • goatmilkstuff

      Good for you!  PJ