Second-Guessing Decisions

Have you ever had a difficult decision to make?  You agonize over it.  You pray about it.  You don’t sleep well thinking about it.

And finally you make a decision.  If you’re at all like me, the relief you feel is tremendous, simply because the decision has been made.  What you decided isn’t as important as the fact that you decided and the choice is now gone.

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But if you’re also like me, at some point – whether it is days, weeks, months, or even hours – you start to second-guess that decision.  Or worse, you start to regret it.

I spent many years in that cycle.  And I’ve concluded that second-guessing or regretting is a waste of my time.

Decision-making is hard.  And it’s imperfect.  I make the best decisions I can given the information that I have.

For me, prayer plays a large role in my decision-making.  If I don’t feel comfortable that God wants me to do something, I don’t do it.

So after a decision has been made, if I second-guess it, then it feels like I’m questioning whether or not I heard from God correctly.

Here’s an example – our move to Scottsburg.  When it became obvious that Goat Milk Stuff had outgrown our old farm and we were going to have to move, we started praying for a new property.  We located one in Scottsburg that seemed almost perfect to us.  We prayed about it and were convinced this was where God wanted us.  We put in an offer and then we went “to battle” with the city over being allowed to build there.

I have to tell you, it was incredibly stressful.  While many people wanted us in Scottsburg, there were also some people who were very vocal about the fact that they did not want us there.  I could understand their concern because they didn’t know us and change is always scary.  But there were many times during the ordeal that I wanted to quit and find another property because the process was too hard.

It was really easy to tell ourselves that we had misunderstood God and this wasn’t the place for us.

But that thinking was wrong.

Because the right decision doesn’t always lead to an easy path.

If you measure whether or not you made a good decision based on how easy your life is after the decision is made, you’re using the wrong criteria.

Sometimes the right decision takes us down a very difficult path.  But it is still the path we are supposed to take.  It’s the difficult paths that are often where we learn and grow the most.

So now, once I’ve made a decision, I never try not to second-guess it.  I move forward and embrace the decision.

How about you – do you have trouble second-guessing your decisions?

PJ

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  • Laura

    Sometimes, yes. Not too often.

    But I needed to read this today all the same, because of that bolded line especially and what follows it. I’m currently facing some decisions and also dealing with a situation that is anything but an easy path (not doubting my decisions there, because the alternative is unacceptable anyway, but its still not easy).

    Yes, I was wanting the easy path. An easy path. And it might not be good for us, and it might not be the right path…I needed to read this now, not to deal with previous decisions, but for what it will influence going forward.

    Thank you!!

    • goatmilkstuff

      You’re very welcome!! I said a prayer for you for peace on the difficult road. 🙂 PJ

  • MsAmber

    I don’t worry about making decisions because: 1) I make a decision with the information I have and commit to it. 2) I am completely willing to take responsibility for whatever the outcome of that decision. If it was a mistake – I will fix it and learn from it.
    Something I always think: when King Solomon asked Adonai for Wisdom – HE didn’t just open up Solomon’s brain and dump in the information, HE gave Solomon many experiences to learn through. In my life: I’m sure that my best lessons were learned from mistakes. I sure hope I don’t have to become as wise as King Solomon – not sure I would survive the tutorial. LOL
    I do understand that there are a lot more people affected by your decision-making than mine, so in your shoes – I would probably lose sleep over a decision like moving the entire family and business to Scottsburg. It seems as though it worked out, though.

    I’m curious if your extended family will stay together – when the children marry and have families of their own. Do they have any thoughts on that?